Toma Enache

“Between Pain and Amen” is inspired by the harrowing reality of the Pitești Experiment — one of the most violent and extreme “re-education” programs carried out in communist prisons. The film explores the systematic attempt to destroy human identity, faith, and dignity. I felt I had the moral duty to tell this story. Not only as a filmmaker, but as a human being. There are historical traumas that, if not acknowledged, remain open wounds in the collective conscience. This film is an act of memory and responsibility.

I did not want to make a purely illustrative historical film. I wanted to convey the inner state of a world turned upside down. In prison, through the so-called “re-education,” the goal was not only physical submission but the inversion of human values. Good became guilt. Faith was mocked. Dignity had to be destroyed. To express this inversion, I found a clear directorial solution: I physically turned the camera upside down in certain memory sequences. This was not a digital effect — the camera was literally flipped. The character is in prison and remembers beautiful moments from his life before arrest: his fiancée, the sea, fields of red poppies. The first frame of each memory appears completely inverted — the characters are upside down, the sky below, the earth above. Then the image rotates back to normal and the memory flows naturally. At the end, we return to prison reality. This choice expresses the idea that, for a man subjected to such trauma, even memory is destabilized. The world itself has been overturned.

We worked very hard with the actors, grounding everything in historical testimonies and serious research. I wanted authenticity and inner truth, not theatrical exaggeration. The collaboration with the cinematographer was essential in creating the claustrophobic atmosphere and constant psychological tension.

The main challenge was balancing realism with responsibility. I did not want violence to become spectacle. It had to be felt, but never exploited. It was also an emotionally intense process for the entire team.

I am proud of the coherence between form and content. The inverted imagery expresses cinematically the moral inversion taking place inside the prison. In the same spirit, there is a scene in which a priest is forced to recite the Commandments backwards. Not only the image is inverted — the moral law itself is turned upside down. Through “re-education” or brainwashing, the attempt was to annihilate conscience and reverse the meaning of fundamental values.

Every film is a lesson. Perhaps I would have developed certain secondary characters further. But fundamentally, I believe the film is honest. For me, honesty is more important than technical perfection.

“Between Pain and Amen” is one of the most important projects in my artistic journey. The film received 55 international awards at festivals around the world for direction, screenplay, music, cinematography and acting. It confirmed that a true Romanian story can resonate universally.

In Romania, the film had a strong theatrical run and its commercial success contributed significantly to financing my next feature film, “Enescu, Skinned Alive” (2024). The film was available on Netflix for approximately six years, is currently streaming on HBO Max, and has been broadcast on several Romanian television networks.

The title itself comes from a verse of a poem I published in 1993, in my poetry volume The Art of Destiny:

“And when, at the margins, I shall step once more

Upon the known destiny,

Life remains there

Between Pain and Amen.”

At the time, I could not have imagined that more than twenty-five years later that verse would become the title of such an important film in my life.

Seek truth, not quick success. Be responsible toward the subjects you choose.

Through trust and depth. We created a space where vulnerability was possible without forcing emotion. The performances had to come from inner understanding.

The main character, Take, is a composer and double bass virtuoso. He is writing an “Ode to God,” and that very composition becomes the reason for his arrest. There is a crucial scene in which, when Take refuses to play for the vicious prison commander Ciumău  – portrayed powerfully by Constantin Cotimanis –  the latter attempts to play the double bass himself. In the hands of an artist, the instrument produces harmony and depth. In the hands of a torturer, the sound becomes forced, brutal, dissonant. For me, that moment expresses the essence of evil: evil cannot create harmony — it can only destroy it.

The impact of the film exceeded expectations. At almost every screening across Romania, one or more survivors of communist prisons were present. The film generated a rare collective emotion. After many screenings, audiences remained in silence — a heavy silence. Writers, professors, theologians, journalists spoke about the film as an act of memory and conscience. It reopened public discussion about confronting the past. If a film can disturb, awaken, and bring memory back into the present, then it has fulfilled its purpose.

With my first three feature films, I feel I have completed an important artistic circle. My debut feature, “I’m Not Famous but I’m Aromanian”, was the first film in cinema history spoken entirely in the Aromanian language. “Between Pain and Amen” was the first artistic film dedicated to the Pitești re-education experiment. “Enescu, Skinned Alive” is the first feature film dedicated to the life and inner struggles of the brilliant composer George Enescu. Together, these films explore identity, faith, memory, and destiny from different perspectives.

I am currently working on the screenplay for my next feature film, which will explore love and the complex dynamics of a couple. I hope to develop this project in collaboration with a producer from the United Kingdom or another country, opening it towards an international co-production from the development stage. I believe that deeply personal stories about love can travel across borders just as powerfully as historical dramas.